11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Got a toothbrush?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
