new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
