My first STD was from a foam party
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This is my gift to your gina
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
