non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
