im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
