How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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