I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
