okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
