White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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