i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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