Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
