I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
