The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
