How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!