There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
