The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
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230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
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As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.