Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
