They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
