First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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