I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
