pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
