Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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