I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do vagina's smell?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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