oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
