You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize