Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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