No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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