I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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