is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
