Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
