im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
