We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
