We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
