I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I will pee on everything he values.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
