I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
