Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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