Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
