Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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