now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he puts the penis in happiness.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
