HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
my shit smells like andre
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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