T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
