Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
