It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
