before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
