please come you make the beer taste better
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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