So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
