I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
