Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
