The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
