He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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