hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize