so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
