you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
