Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It was like getting head from an anaconda
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
