somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
