yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
