thus making me awesome and them whores
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you inspire me to be a worse person
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
