physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
