god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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