Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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